Reply To: Seaside Lunacy –

Dave Rice
Forumite Points: 9,524

Your vehicle has been put in self isolation where it will be tested for traces of Covid-19.

If positive you will hear from a member of the Test & Trace team who will need to know the contact details of anyone who came within spitting distance 2 metres  of you, or any members of your bubble, at any time during the day and the registration number of any vehicle that did so too. We will need to see any dash-cam footage you have to make sure you’re not telling porkies you haven’t missed any vital information.

Members of your bubble will also be compelled to fess up contacted and their alibis valuable contributions will be cross referenced to identify the guilty added to the sum of our knowledge to help the fight against Covid-19.

If you have installed the NHSX app, we have already slurped as much of your personal data as we can but nothing else worth a candle please treat the requests from the T & T Team as if you haven’t.

Also please spam Apple and Google as it’s their fault for not altering their operating system for us being intransigent and hampering our World Beating app which we were told wouldn’t work before spending £12 million. They have a track record of not giving in to encryption back doors aiding terrorists.

In the spirit of the Test & Trace initiative we will be putting all the registrations numbers in a hat and the first 30% drawn out will not be subject to any enquiries whatsoever.

  • This reply was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by Dave Rice.