April 18, 2019 at 4:27 pm #32782
On Tuesday I had a frantic call from my mother, her partner had gone AWOL in town and she had no idea where he was (he has some dementia). What followed was 4 hours of me driving around while mum was kept updated by the Police. His details were circulated to every Police person, council employee, taxi driver and bus driver.
I spotted him outside a pub in Cardiff centre literally as mum called me to say the Police had found him.
Mum finally caved in and agreed that he has to have a tracker. I’ve given them old phones to use but he’s either lost them or broken them. OFC first thing someone nefarious does whenever they find a phone is switch it off and ditch the SIM card.
Anyway, I ordered a Spytrack Nano.
It came today and I set it up with a 1 month subscription just so we can tell if it’s worth it. If it pans out fine over the next week or so then the 12 month subscription will be bought next. It’s not the cheapest option but so far it seems like money well spent. The location tracking seems to be very accurate for a £50 device, not perfect but very close. It got a full GPS lock in my house which even some high ends phones can’t do.
It could also be a very cheap way to track a car, especially if you have a USB/fag lighter socket in the boot or somewhere else out of the way. The hardwire kit is an interesting option but may well void any warranty unless done by a main dealer.
It’ll be let loose with mum’s partner when the case for it turns up, that way it can be attached to his clothes in one way or another.
So far I’m impressed.
April 18, 2019 at 5:17 pm #32783
It is pretty tough to handle, so she has my sympathy. There was a spate of this in our road for a while and we got used to different 2am visitors ringing our door bell. Why us I have no idea! However my main point in writing is that they arrived in all sorts of clothing (night dresses even), with or without shoes/slippers, so it may be difficult to find the ideal way of attaching the tracker to the person.
My advice would be to chat it over with your local Dementia group or Alzheimer Society as they have more practical experience in this sort of thing.
I have to say that our neighbours all eventually had either extra internal locks fitted or alarmed the doors to wake them. Eventually your mother may need to be prepared to commit him to a specialist care home, but I would judge that she probably isn’t ready to even contemplate that step at the moment, and the longer it can be avoided the better as people do not seem to last very long in such places.00April 18, 2019 at 5:36 pm #32784
Ed, he’s not that bad yet. He just wanders if no one is right next to him. Mum was maybe 6 feet away at most when he wandered.
The immediate neighbour, her husband was that bad. Somehow he’d get out of the house in the early morning to watch the sun rise. There were 4 locks on every external door and all the keys were hidden. I once found him on Dinas Powys common at about 6 am on a Sunday morning-that’s about 4 or 5 miles from where he lived. They used to live near there maybe 15 years ago. He went downhill quickly and he died about 18 months ago. He was very physically ill though, many forms of cancer for a start.
My YouTube00April 18, 2019 at 6:55 pm #32785
Bob WilliamsParticipant@bullstuff2Forumite Points: 3,448
I lost two very good mates to this terrible affliction and my brother, who we thought had Alzheimers, turns out to have Vascular Dementia. *His eldest was a staff nurse and kept digging for answers* until they carried out scans and found, in the words of a consultant who should used a better description, that “ … his brain is turning to soup.” It explains why he deteriorated so quickly from the fun-loving guy we knew, to an 89 yo who does not know his wife, 6 kids, numerous grandkids and gt-grandkids, or myself, who has known him all my life. Sits in a commode chair all day and has the family constitution, which means that he goes on and on well after his mind has left the building, if you know what I mean. Not being overly facetious here, it’s just that we all know what the situation is doing to his frail, 88 yo wife, who will not let the kids put him somewhere which might allow her some peace. The brother I knew is not there anymore and it breaks my heart.
Hope your mum’s partner does not reach anywhere near that point Nolan: there appear to be great strides made in treatment.
*Considering that my eldest niece has had double breast cancer, lymph cancer and then a stroke, followed by occasional seizures,* I have a very high opinion of the lass. She is something else.
“If you think this Universe is bad, you should see some of the others.”
― Philip K. Dick, legendary SF writer.00April 18, 2019 at 7:18 pm #32786
It is a deeply personal situation and one that depends on the form of dementia they have as to how it will progress. The war stories from others do nothing to help your case but my mother had the vascular form. Over too many years it robbed capabilities in staircase fashion with long periods of relative stability followed by sudden drops in a repeating cycle. She lost the physical capability to roam though she always wanted ‘to return home’ even when fully bed ridden, to the town or more accurately the countryside she left 80 years before. I understand from the literature I read that this is a frequent theme with ‘wanderers’.
Warning the mental capacity act of 2007(?) does limit what you can do to control people with impairments, so some form of non intrusive tagging is a great idea for those inclined and with the physical ability to wander in random ways. However as ED said, the subject may well not bother with the correct, or perhaps even any clothing when they set out, – whatever the weather may be doing. It is a very tough road ahead and sympathy is not enough, though it is all that I can contribute.00April 18, 2019 at 11:45 pm #32792
TipponKeymaster@tipponForumite Points: 1,780
He just wanders if no one is right next to him. Mum was maybe 6 feet away at most when he wandered.
Possibly a daft idea, but I’ve just ordered one of the small luggage GPS tags* to try with Alice. Alice is still at the age where we dress her, but depending on the style, it could be put on a chain like a short necklace, so it can’t be taken off over the head. If she wanders off it will hopefully alert the responsible adult before she wanders too far. In your mother’s case, the full tracker can be used if they’re going out, and the smaller one for day to day use.
*This is the type, but I got mine through Wish:00April 19, 2019 at 8:16 am #32795
As Richard says there are many different forms and prognosis for this affliction. The ones I knew all went through similar stages regressing back through the various life milestones eventually winding up as ‘babies’ unable even to swallow food. The worst phase seems to be the teenage equivalent especially with those prone to aggression. All in all a very unpleasant way to end a life, and one where I think voluntary euthanasia while still capable of decision making would be the kindest way out for many.00April 19, 2019 at 8:34 am #32796
He just wanders if no one is right next to him. Mum was maybe 6 feet away at most when he wandered.
Possibly a daft idea, but I’ve just ordered one of the small luggage GPS tags* to try with Alice. Alice is still at the age where we dress her, but depending on the style, it could be put on a chain like a short necklace, so it can’t be taken off over the head. If she wanders off it will hopefully alert the responsible adult before she wanders too far. In your mother’s case, the full tracker can be used if they’re going out, and the smaller one for day to day use. *This is the type, but I got mine through Wish: https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Car-Motor-GPS-Tracker-Kids-Pets-Wallet-Keys-Alarm-Locator-Realtime-Finder-Device/263840172840
Please, pretty please and a really big please, do ensure that the chain if it is used cannot snag on anything, ever. Small children snagging such items on branches, twigs, hooks or things you might feel are impossible to snag onto have killed kids in the past. That is too godawful to think about.00April 19, 2019 at 8:39 am #32797
Ed, there is no way I can argue: unless you have seen and felt the pain of others living in hope for an never going to happen miracle of recovery, the wish for a blessed relief has to be seen to be felt. Father lived clinging onto that futile hope throughout mother’s long decline and it rotted his mind, so his last days were spent in a non-dementia led decline. Perhaps if she had be released a little earlier he might have been better able to enjoy his final days… perhaps…
00April 19, 2019 at 9:38 am #32799
- This reply was modified 4 months ago by Richard.
Thanks for the replies.
Ryan, he doesn’t wander when he’s at home. He won’t go out unless prompted by someone.
My YouTube10April 19, 2019 at 10:13 am #32802
Hopefully things will improve in the future. There seems to be a definite link with the cold sore virus, and there are some big trials using an anti-viral at early stage diagnosis. Taiwan has led the way with over 100,000 people in trial, I think (?) there is also a small-scale trial taking place in the Newcastle area.
00April 21, 2019 at 5:53 pm #32841
- This reply was modified 4 months ago by Ed P.
DrezhaParticipant@drezhaForumite Points: 982
We use something similar with the Duke of Edinburgh groups I supervise. We offer the kids a choice whether to carry them or not but most will. I’ll have to find out what ones we use as they just use a normal SIM card.
Some staff take that as meaning they can sit in a cafe all day which I disagree with but it does provide piece of mind and a bit of a backup, but that doesn’t substitute for boots on the ground.
Different use case I’m afraid which may not help!00April 21, 2019 at 8:08 pm #32842
Drez, I’m pretty certain that it uses a bog standard SIM and it’s probably fairly easy to hack to accept a normal SIM if not.
It’s not mine though, if it was I’d be exploring every avenue.
My YouTube00April 22, 2019 at 7:45 am #32845
Thanks for the replies. Ryan, he doesn’t wander when he’s at home. He won’t go out unless prompted by someone.
While that is currently a ‘happy state’ for now, it may not remain that way and the change can happen quickly, almost overnight – or even in the middle of the night when dressed for bed. Whatever the weather conditions and how suitable the attire. That is the dangerous phase ,when even the most mild mannered person can become uncontrollable if they cannot chase whatever demon they were after when the desire to move takes over.00April 22, 2019 at 6:44 pm #32858
Well the Nano had it’s first proper outing today, the case came Saturday and is attached by some screw shut carabiners to a belt loop and then put in a trouser pocket.
It works very well indeed. Only issue was the SOS button was being knocked repeatedly and I was getting emails and notifications every time. Mum’s partner doesn’t know it exists so it must have been accidental. 30 seconds on the website to disable the notifications and all is well.
For the money it’s well worth the peace of mind for mum and myself.
My YouTube10April 23, 2019 at 7:06 am #32860
Richard’s last response is one for you one to keep an eye on, and step in if necessary. Sometimes just being a third party for the affected person helps.
Luckily for us our experience is only as helpful neighbours, but I did note that in half of those affected, love turned to hatred and violence at being confined or frustrated in chasing their demon. Two of the violent ones had to be sectioned as a result.
I think Richard probably has more practical experience, but sorting out finances as early as possible is a vital long term item.00April 23, 2019 at 1:19 pm #32865
Ed, you are right on the money there with all points. It is not a good week at the moment, two appointments down for my wife and a third to go within two hours and a monumental issue with a housing cock-up crew affecting my disabled daughter. That is enough for the moment but PM Ed is right there with both points covering what I needed to say.00April 23, 2019 at 7:03 pm #32879
Richard and Ed, financial issues were dealt with at mum’s partners insentience when he was first diagnosed. Mum has full financial control.
Mum has power of attorney also. Mum’s fella has no debit or credit cards and is given cash every day, as required. I always make sure when we go down the Legion that I have plenty of money on me as he has a habit of buying drinks which his cash won’t cover. No big deal as the steward sends me an email with a photo of the cost, just so I can show mum so she doesn’t think I’m trying to scam them. It’s the way we do things.
My YouTube00April 24, 2019 at 8:36 am #32883
That is great news, the very last thing you want is to end up having to deal with the ‘Court of Abuse’. They self title themselves as the ‘Court of Protection’ and while they might sometimes try to protect their own backsides after the harm has been done; protecting the best interests of clients was very far from their often totally obstructive, unhelpful minds. They were a cost centre and of no practical help at all . PM the steps that have been taken should help keep them from your doorstep.
As an example of the sort of things that can happen in the mid stages of dementia, take the example of my mother. She was in her mid to later 80s and still more of less able to walk short distances. One day she spied a police car stopped near a neighbour’s house. Surprisingly soon after she was out in slippers and night dress demand help to find her missing parents – they were obviously both long deceased. After that things continued downhill and not too long after she was in a home and more or less permanently bed ridden, though she was craned out into a chair and taken to the lounge.
Because long distant memories appear more relevant than yesterday’s events the burning desire to return to somewhere people once knew becomes a very serious issue. Couple that to the fact that things they remember enjoying in the past and now find they cannot do and it is easier to understand how they can become seriously angry and frustrated. Ceramics can take a pasting at such times, its a shame when Troika wares get reduced to dusty fragments.
Happily it does not happen in all cases, the ‘ignorant but happy’ phase can last for many.
Happily PM it does sound as though your situation is very well set up to cope. I trust that this robustly founded arrangement will stand all in good stead.
For some others it is a possible warning of what may come and thus to be ready to manage a way through the result.
00April 26, 2019 at 7:26 pm #32926
- This reply was modified 3 months, 3 weeks ago by Richard.
Thanks Richard, I think all the angles are covered.
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